


Operation Idiots

by raelee514



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: M/M, Reunion 3.0, valentine's exchange 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-16
Updated: 2020-02-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:55:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22760590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raelee514/pseuds/raelee514
Summary: Seb knows his Dads are Idiots.It's Valentine's Day and he's going to do something about it.
Relationships: Aaron Dingle/Robert Sugden
Comments: 19
Kudos: 152





	Operation Idiots

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ItFeelsLikeHome](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItFeelsLikeHome/gifts).



There was pink and red everywhere. Robert looked in the village. David's shop was the worst offender, and he felt blinded by it all. The pink cards, the pink flowers, pink colored crisp packages and even the beer cans in the refrigerators seemed to not have been saved from the Valentine's take over. He shook his head and wondered vaguely if Valentine's Day as a holiday had taken over the world while he was in prison? He frowned at the flower display and tried to push the holiday out of his mind, or rather the person it made him think about. 

He'd told Vic he'd do the shopping -- needing to give her something back for letting him say with her until he figured out a flat for himself. It was hard going because he wanted to be in Emmerdale. He needed to stay close to his family. He'd missed them more deeply than he expected to while he was in prison and being home. It felt amazing to back in his sister's life, to know his nephew — even Diane wasn't annoying him to often. He supposed eventually that might fade, but he missed her.

Robert needed them. All of them. But most of aller he needed Seb. The thought of him made all the Valentine's decoration fade away. He felt a rush of happiness that made him feel like he was buzzing from the inside. Seb was spectacular. He was perfect. He was too old, twelve, and Robert lost far too much time. But they were getting along, somehow, his son didn't hate him for leaving him — it'd been his worst nightmare over the years. But after a few hard questions, Seb had hugged him and cried and told him he was happy Robert was home. 

He wasn't sure if his homecoming would've gone so easily if Seb hadn't accepted him, but he did, so Robert pushed down the what-ifs and found it easier to ignore all the cheery pink around him. He smiled at the thought of his son and how amazing he was — 

But the real reason for that popped up in his mind, and he saw himself looking at a card that was taped to the wall as decoration. _To My Husband_ on its cover and he frowned. 

Aaron. 

Only they weren't husbands, not anymore. Robert had ended it with the clink of his ring on a white table. He watched Aaron take it, not realizing what was happening and hated himself more than he ever had before. But it was the past now, and he needed to focus on the present. He told himself it wasn't like they'd ever celebrated Valentine's Day themselves when they were together. He remembered mocking it more than anything, shaking their heads at the fuss and people wasting their money. Then using it as an excuse to make it an early night. As if they never found on any given day to do the same.

Memories of them in bed rose up, and he couldn't stop the smile. The truth was he spent a lot of hours thinking about them to simply stay sane in prison. There were lists and rankings, and maybe it was mad, but it'd kept his alive. It wasn't just sex, of course, it was laughter and conversations. It was Aaron. It'd kept him alive somehow. Even when the thought of Aaron was a wound in his heart instead. Missing him, letting him go, it was a double-edged blade — thinking about him saved him, but it'd also hurt too. 

He smacked a hot pink balloon with a bit too much heft as he passed it and tried to bury down the memories. He needed to let him go — again. Always. He was out now, and he couldn't use Aaron like this any longer. They were over, and it wasn't going to change. He'd shoved Aaron away without looking back years ago, and it'd worked. Aaron moved on with a life without Robert in it, and now there was too much time and distance. 

And Aaron had moved on.

At least he wasn't married. 

Though he was living with someone. Tim or Jim, or was Ian? Robert shook his head and hated eventually he'd learn the man's name. The man he had to accept had a life with Aaron. But, no all that mattered was the man was good to Seb, that he accepted his son and wasn't going to hurt him. And he knew Aaron would never put up with that, so there was nothing to worry about — his son was safe and happy. His son was being raised by Aaron, and Aaron was allowing Robert to take part in it. Somehow despite all the time and distance between them. 

He was back to thinking about his son About the things he'd learned. How he was tall for his age, how he'd inherited the Sugden freckles, and somehow he was still more of a redhead than a blonde. Robert grinned as he thought about bright and precocious Seb was, but it grew wider at the fact his son scowled a bit. It made him look so much like Aaron that it hurt a bit. It also made relief flood him that his son had Aaron in him, that he was being raised by Aaron because Robert had always wanted it. He'd always thought his son's best interests would be under Aaron's watchful eye. 

He always knew Aaron would be the perfect dad. 

He frowned as he realized he hadn't managed to get Aaron out of his mind at all. And on cue, the bell to the shop rang and Robert looked up and in came the two most important people in his life. He felt a bit blinded by the two of them, there together. Both of them smiling at him like they were glad to see him. Aaron's smile seemed bright, and their eyes met, and Robert felt that familiar pull he always felt around Aaron. He wished he could give into it, wished all of this was more than just a hello, but he felt thankful Aaron seemed to have met his promise about them being mates. 

"Hi ya," Aaron said after a moment with a shake of his head, like he was rude forgetting. 

Robert just shrugged at him and returned the greeting.

Seb made an odd snorting sort of noise, which made Robert look at him, and a rush of extreme affection rolled through him. He suddenly he realized he did have a reason to celebrate Valentine's Day. It was the perfect excuse to find another way to spoil Seb rotten — and he meant too, he meant to show Seb he loved him in any way he could possibly manage. 

"Hey, kiddo," he said. 

"That's a lot of food," Seb said, pointing to his overly full cart of food.

"Your Aunt Vic's fridge is empty," Robert laughed. "She's gotten a bit caught up with work lately..."

"Yeah... Valentine's rush, mum, calls it," Aaron laughed. "It's like people do test runs at the Woolpack."

"Test runs, for what dropping a ring in the wine glass?" Robert rolled his eyes.

Aaron laughed. "Who would propose at the Woolpack? Daft."

"What're you gonna…" he sighed and instantly regretted the question.

"What?" Aaron prodded.

"Doing for..." Robert shrugged and looked at David's gaudy display of red and pink flowers. 

"Oh...uh," Aaron mumbled and looked down at his feet. 

Robert braced himself to hear Aaron was going away with his boyfriend or something.

"Tim and Da, they broke up." Seb nearly shouted it, and Robert stared at his son. Seb beamed at him. "Tim and Da, they broke up."

"Oh...." Robert bit the inside of his cheek because he couldn't smile, he couldn't assume this was good news. It really wasn't… Aaron had been living with this man. 

"Yeah… it wasn't… it just wasn't going to work out."

Robert opened his mouth to attempt to tell Aaron he was sorry to hear it when his son spoke over him.

"Maybe Dad can come over Friday," 

"Friday?" the two of them said in unison, given it was Wednesday. 

"Valentine's Day," Seb announced like it wasn't anything. 

He shook his head and tried not to notice that Aaron was doing the same — it shouldn't hurt, and he was saying no too, obviously. But he needed to avoid Aaron's face, and his own felt hot, and he wished they could spend the day together, but they just couldn't do that… 

They couldn't. 

But he had another idea. "How about you and I do something on Valentine's Day, Seb?"

"I'm your son," he muttered.

"Exactly and I love ya... So, we could make a special day of it, right? If your Dad's okay with it?"

"Yeah, it's a great idea. What do you say, Seb?"

Seb looked from Aaron to Robert and back again with an odd expression on his face. Robert was just learning how to read his son, and he wasn't all sure what it was he was witnessing, and he was afraid Seb was about to say no, that he didn't want to spend time with him and he wondered if he could brace for that hurt. 

"Seb…" Aaron said, his voice gruff.

"Okay, yeah, of course," Seb said quickly, and he hugged Robert too. "Yeah, it'll be fun." He pulled away from Robert and looked, Aaron. "I saw Isaac was up at the swings can I go, Da?"

"Of course," Aaron said, and Seb rushed off quickly.

"It isn't weird, is it?" Robert asked after a beat.

"What?"

"Father and son on Valentine's Day?"

"Bloody made-up holiday anyway, why not use it as an excuse to love on him?" Aaron shrugged. "Plus, he's got your sweet tooth, so chocolate will win help in you continue to win him over."

"Are you suggesting I'd bribe my son to like me?"

"Are you suggesting you wouldn't?" Aaron's eyes glinted. 

"No," Robert laughed, and it felt like they fell into a staring contest. Robert cleared his throat and asked another question he shouldn't, but he was curious. "What happened with..."

"Tim? It just wasn't going to... It wasn't going to work out..." Aaron cleared his throat. "It's been coming."

"Oh, yeah... I just didn't..." He felt stupid and like he was making it all about him, or them when it probably wasn't about him at all. 

"It just wasn't going to work out, we wanted different things…" Aaron said after a beat. 

"I'm…" he tried to say sorry, but it never formed on his tongue. 

They stood there again, and Robert started to wonder if they were standing to close when Aaron broke the silence again. "So…A pint later?"

Robert smiled with relief, and he felt more grounded again. The truth was they'd decided to be mates. They'd avoided each other when he first got back. They'd yelled at each other, and then Robert had broken down and apologized. Aaron revealed he'd forgiven him years ago… 

They got to a good place. It was for Seb, really, Robert thought because they couldn't raise him together as strangers. And Aaron offered to do this to make them equal in their son's life, and Robert felt grateful. The truth was Aaron held the cards, he was the one who was raising their son, and Robert wasn't going to take away that power. But Aaron wanted them to do it together, he promised Robert they'd figure out a way and asked for them to mates. 

So they were mates. 

And they went for a pint. 

Nearly every day.

"Yeah, meet ya there, usual time?"

Aaron nodded. "Yeah."

"Great..." He said. "I better..." He raised up his groceries.

"Right... I should get what I came in for..." Aaron looked around the shop.

Yet they stood there together, both of them pointedly not looking at the other before they cleared their throats and went their separate ways. As Robert turned, he caught a glimpse of Seb through the window and smiled at him, happy to see him but a bit curious why he was looking into the store. Seb blinked, then smiled and waved at him before turning around and heading toward the playground. 

Robert shrugged, shook his head, and stuck his groceries down for the kid currently working for David to scan. 

**One Day Later**

Seb sighed where he sat at the bar of the Woolpack, his maths homework spread out in front of him. He was nearly done, he could've been done ages ago, but he kept getting distracted. But how STUPID his Dads were. They were first-class idiots. Seb had never seen anyone or anything more ridiculous than the two of them. He really wondered how they could be so monumentally idiotic? 

He turned back to his maths, but he couldn't focus, so he ended up looking at his Dads again and sighed again. Because they looked happy, they looked more than happy, really, and Seb was sick and tired of them ignoring the fact that they only felt that way together. 

He could see it. They both smiled the entire time, they'd see each other, and their faces would light up, and they'd talk, and the smiles would be wider and brighter. They reached his Da's eyes, and he had never seen his Da smile like that and all his clearest memories his Da was there… and he was sometimes a sulky bloke, but so was Seb — so what, but he'd thought he'd seen his Da happy before. He thought Tim had made his Da happy, but then he'd seen his Dad make his Da laugh…

And yeah, there was no comparing it. 

His Da was the happiest Seb ever seen him since his dad came home — Seb was too, and he knew his Dad was because he told Seb more than once that being in his life again was the happiest he'd been in a long time. But he was still sad when his Da wasn't around, and his Da was downright moody and weird when his Dad wasn't around. 

But they kept saying they were just mates. Seb shook his head because they didn't look like mates. And they looked way more happy and in love than Da had ever looked with Tim. And Tim had been gone for weeks now, weeks, and he definitely wasn't coming back…

So wasn't his Da saying anything to his Dad about them. 

They loved each other, you'd need to live under a rock to not know it.

How did they not know it? It seemed the only explanation, the two of them were being idiots who couldn't see the truth. They belonged together. Seb was starting to believe he was the one who would have to do something about it. If they wouldn't spend Valentine's Day together — he'd just have to figure out how to make it happen. 

~~~

He decided Leyla Harding-Cavanaugh was his only hope for two very important reasons. The first was a conversation he'd overheard between her and Tracy the night before…. It seemed he wasn't the only one watching his Dads and wondering why they were being slow about admitting their feelings. She thought it would happen sooner rather than later. Seb had heard her use the word inevitable. So, they were in agreement that his Dads belonged together, and that made her a natural ally. Second. Her job was throwing Weddings. Soppy things were her specialty, so she would know exactly what he needed to do to get his Dads to stop being idiots. 

So he walked into Take a Vow, carrying the big shoe box from under his bed and marched up to Leyla at her desk and spilled all the coins and paper bills of money he had onto it and announced himself. 

"I need to hire you for advice," he said. 

Leyla blinked at him a bit and stared at the money. "What?"

"I need to hire you for advice," he repeated. 

"Oh?"

"Yes."

Then she was grinning. She leaned forward her eyes wide with interest. "Who is the lucky girl or boy you want to impress for Valentine's Day?"

He screwed up his face in disgust. "Ew. It's not about me."

"It's not?"

"No…gross." 

"I'm confused," Leyla shook her head.

"It's my Dads."

"Oh..." She breathed it out like it solved all the questions in the universe. 

"How do I get them to admit they should get back together?" 

She was back to blinking at him and he'd really never noticed how long her eyelashes were — they had to be fake, he leaned forward a bit to see if he could tell. 

"Seb, I don't think I can help you there."

"No! You have too, it's taking way too long and their all sad when they aren't together." 

"Well… it is very complicated."

"Is not," he stood his ground. "They're happier together. Da does this thing with his mouth I didn't know he could, and my Dad gets bigger, like he's less scared of everything since he's out of prison. And they laugh, and they talk FOREVER and forget to drink their pints. They need to get back together, PLEEEEEASE." 

"Isn't your dad with Tim?"

"They broke up like weeks ago...." Seb sighed, feeling frustrated. 

Leyla's eyes lit up. "Really?"

"Yes! And it's Valentine's Day, shouldn't they get together then?"

"Well…"

"You have to help me make them see it's for the best."

"I don't know what I can do, though… I don't really disagree with you, always was a bit jealous of them really…. But it's been a long time, and your dad, Robert, he just got out of prison."

"It's been months, he got out before my birthday."

"Well... I mean short of knocking their heads together, I really don't know…"

"Knocking their heads together, how would that work?"

"Not literally, locking them in a room or something until they really talk about things… but I mean, you can't really do that, can you, Seb."

"Lock them…" Seb's brain felt warm, thoughts were forming, a plan was taking place. HE KNEW EXACTLY WHAT TO DO. "Thank you, Mrs. Harding-Cavanagh," he shouted before running out of her shop. 

"Seb, your money..." Leyla yelled.

"You earned it," he yelled back just before the door closed and grinned madly. 

Operation Idiots was in effect.

There were just a few details to iron out before Friday.

**Later on Thursday**

Robert glanced at the cheap watch on his wrist, and Aaron averted his eyes from it and tried not to think about the watch that used to live on his husb — no Robert's wrist… Aaron sighed and wondered when he'd find the courage to return the watch to Robert now that he was out — he could give it to Seb himself someday. But the thought of even touching that watch brought up feelings and thoughts that were just best avoided. 

"Huh…it's really late, Aaron."

Aaron glanced at the pint he'd barely taken a sip from because they'd just kept talking all night. Not about much really, mostly Seb and some random subjects. It wasn't like they'd ever had issues just talking, or getting along, or just being quiet together. It was all so simple, really, how easy it was to be Robert's mate and just meet for a pint. "Is it?"

"Going on ten."

Aaron's eyes widened, and he looked around the bar. Seb was easy to find. He was at the corner of it by the door to the kitchen. His books were all shut, and he was sitting there and looking at them. At seeing Aaron look over, he immediately looked away like he'd been caught — that was weird. Or maybe he knew it was way past his bedtime. "I've gotta get Seb home…"

Robert nodded and moved to his feet. "Of course." 

Somehow though, Aaron and Seb found themselves walking with Robert. He and Seb were talking. Robert checking he'd done all his homework and listening to him talk about his assignments. Aaron felt a warmth in his chest at it all, Robert getting to hear about their kid's day at school, and he swallowed over a lump in his throat at it all. It was nice, but it also unsettled him. 

They all came to a stop in front of Keepers.

"Well, here I am…" Robert said. "So, I'll pick you up from school tomorrow, and we'll spend the rest of the day together?" he asked Seb and Aaron wished he stop sounding so unsure.

"Of course, Dad, I want too," Seb said, his tone reassuring and saying with it what Aaron wished he could find the words to say to Robert. He wanted Robert to see what he did, how mad their kid was about him. Seb loved Robert, he'd never stopped. Asked about him all the time, in a lot of ways, he'd kept Robert alive for Aaron in a way that didn't burn — too much. 

Robert looked relieved and hugged Seb goodbye, running a hand over his head before standing up straighter. "Well, yeah, I'll see ya, Aaron."

"See ya..." Aaron echoed.

But they stood there, gazes locked for a good minute. Aaron searched for an excuse to keep talking, but there was none, and he almost thought Robert was doing that same. But then Robert shook his head a bit and turned around. And Aaron watched him walk away and go inside the cottage.

And Aaron felt an impulse to fly at the door, bang on it, and drag Robert home with him because he was remembering another February. A night where he stood exactly where he was standing now and shouted at Robert that they belonged together because it was the truth of them. Of him. It was something he knew in his bones, that Robert was _it_ for him and no one else would ever compare. 

He loved Robert.

He knew he loved Robert.

It was in the bones of him.

He'd broken up with Tim because with Robert back, he'd seen he'd been settling — again — and he knew he couldn't do that to Tim. Tim deserved someone who could give him all of themselves. Aaron would never be able to do that with any other man but Robert. 

Yet it didn't mean he was letting Robert back into his heart, into his home, into his life...

Even though it was all forgiven. 

He'd forgiven Robert a long time ago for pushing him away. He'd always understood why even if he hadn't been able to admit for the first year or so... But even so, when Robert arrived back in town that anger had risen up and he'd yelled, he'd yelled until his throat was hoarse. They'd cried, they'd both apologized but hearing Robert's had given him clarity. 

It truly was all forgiven.

But it was too late for them.

It'd been too long. 

It was too risky. 

All those things echoed and repeated in Aaron's head, so he'd done the only thing he could think of and promised himself they'd be mates. Best mates, close mates… that'd they be friends. Because at the very least, he could get his best friend back because it was the truth. Somewhere during all their breakups and reunions, Robert had become his best friend, the one person who knew him with just a look and that he could talk to about anything. 

The depth of how he'd just missed that alone was unspeakable. 

So, they had a pint, every day, and talked about everything, talked about nothing — like today where they'd mocked Valentine's Day again like they used too and talked about Seb and what he might like to do with Robert. Then they just talked about their son, because it was the easiest and both their favorite subject… But it'd been quiet too, or they'd spoken about nothing really, it'd just been good to sit together, to laugh together. 

Aaron ignored the fact he'd ached to touch Robert the entire time, and now he pushed down the ached he felt to fly at Vic's door, pound on it, and shout at Robert to come home. 

"Da?" Seb's voice broke through his thoughts. 

And reminded him how terrifying his feelings where. Because it was terrifying. What if it all went wrong? Aaron wouldn't be the only one hurt. He turned to Seb and smiled at him and ignored that it was a bit forced because he did ache for Robert. But their son was everything, to him and to Robert. 

And they weren't going to risk hurting him.

"Let's get home," Aaron said and started walking toward the Mill.

"Why can't you come with us tomorrow."

"It'd be good for you and your dad to have a day to yourselves, don't you want too?"

"Of course, yeah, it'll be fun, but…"

"What?"

"Couldn't all of us just play some games and watch a movie at The Mill?"

"No," Aaron shook his head. 

"Why not?"

"Seb, I have to work tomorrow anyway, there is a big shipment, I will be stuck up there long after you get home from school. And this is important to your dad, all right. He likes to spoil the people he loves, and he's got a lot of lost time to make up with you."

Seb's face went serious, and he nodded. "I get it, I guess, but I love him. He doesn't have to spoil me."

"I know, I think he might know that too, but remind him, alright…" Aaron frowned. "Sometimes, he doesn't think he's enough."

"Why?"

"It's complicated. Come on, we've got to get you home, it's past your bedtime, I don't know how it got so late."

Seb snorted. 

"What?"

"You don't know how it got so late?" Seb was giving him a look.

Aaron blinked at him. 

"Whatever," Seb whined two seconds later. 

"Seb?" 

Seb sighed and yawned. "I'm just tired, I guess, since it's so late, forget it." 

Aaron smiled at him, fondly and put his hands on his shoulders. He was getting so tall, he would be taller than him, and he wondered if he'd be taller than Robert or the same height as him. "Let's get you home."

"I just…"

"What Seb?"

"He never comes to the Mill, Dad... Unless you're not there."

"Seb," Aaron sighed. "It's just complicated."

"Why?"

"The Mill is..." Aaron shook his head. "It's better this way, alright."

"Why?"

They weren't purposely doing it, at least Aaron didn't think they were. But it made sense, he thought. Them avoiding being together at the Mill. It'd been their home, and it'd been a happy home. Robert built it for them, and once they finally were truly together, nothing else between them and living together. It'd been the best days of Aaron's life, and he looked back and knew he'd never been that happy before. And he only came close to be that happy again when he was with Robert — he knew it, but there wasn't much he could do about it. 

They couldn't go back. Could they?

As they walked closer to it, Aaron realized he hadn't allowed it to change much over the years. He could bring himself to completely de-Robert it. Things here and there changed but the soul of it... The soul of it was what Robert built.

For them. 

Robert had been in the Mill a few times since he came home. And the space was loud around them… All the happy memories had echoed around them, and for Aaron, it brought back their dreams too. Seeing Robert in the Mill reminded him about their life together, how they'd wanted more children. He thought about them now, those children. Would they be boys or girls? Would they be more like Robert or him… 

"Da?" Seb sounded worried, and Aaron looked at him and knew they'd all be as brilliant as him. Suddenly he was missing children he never had and never would have… 

There was no blame, but that dream was broken.

"It's just complicated, Seb," Aaron repeated.

"I just... I like having you both around and…"

"You'll always have the both of us, Seb," Aaron interrupted him. "Always, Robert's not going anywhere. Never again."

"I know that," Seb sounded exasperated. "Do you?"

"What?" 

"I know Dad's staying. But I don't think you've figured it out." Seb stalked into the Mill. 

Seb suddenly seemed older than his twelve years. Aaron had seen a fierceness in his eyes that showed he'd meant every word, but Aaron wasn't at all sure he understood at all what Seb meant. He hurried into the Mill and caught him just before he went upstairs. 

"Seb, I know your dad will never leave ya, again."

"I'm not talking about me, Da," Seb sounded even more frustrated. "I'm going to bed." 

All Aaron could do was shake his head. 

**Valentine's Day**

"So, you're working?" it was the third time he double checked his dad planned to be at the scrapyard ALL DAY. But it was important to his plan that the day goes according to THE PLAN. 

"I told you, big shipment coming in this morning, will be busy all day." 

"Right so, the shipment's at…"

"Around noon... Seb, what's this about?"

"Nothing," he muttered and put a piece of toast in his mouth. But he felt his dad's eyes on him. Seb knew he seemed suspicious, but it was hard to act calm about everything. This plan could change everything. This plan had to change everything, he thought as he stuffed more toast in his mouth and hoped Da would drop it. 

He got lucky, and his dad went back to eating his own toast. 

Seb started to smile as he chewed. 

"Looking forward to your day with your Dad?" Aaron asked him, and it was third or fourth time. He wasn't the only one repeating questions. 

"Yeah, of course. Still think it's a dumb holiday," he muttered, because it was dumb — unless he managed to get his Dads back together, then it might become his favorite holiday. 

"It's important to your dad to treat ya, Seb."

"And I'm gonna let him..." Seb grinned. "I mean, he tries too hard, but it's nice..." He bit into the last piece of toast because he felt his eyes getting wet. The truth was he really did like spending time with his Dad. Anywhere and anyway, he didn't really care. His Da wasn't the only one who had missed him. 

The truth was before Dad came back, all of Seb's memories about him were pretty blurry. But, he remembered a lot of sweets being given to him, and there were funny voices he'd make for the characters in all his favorite books. Seb remembered being held in strong arms and feeling safe. And he'd tried hang onto that memory the hardest after his mum died. He'd tried to hang onto all of them harder after she died, and wished he had clearer ones to hold on like he did of her. 

But it got harder the older he was...

And now he had him back he knew again how safe his hugs felt and that his Dad loved him and how he smiled at hard he was always trying and how sometimes he asked too many questions and Seb didn't really have all the answers. But his Dad wanted to know him, and he wanted to know his Dad too…

But he wanted him home more. 

Being back in the village wasn't enough.

Harry shouldn't be the one getting to live with him. 

Seb wanted his Dads together because that was going to make them happier, and it would make him happier too. 

So, today his Dad wasn't going to get to try to hard to show his love. No, today, his Dad was finally going to admit he wanted to spend the rest of his life with his Da again…

At least if Seb had any say in the matter. 

"I love him, Da," Seb said. 

Aaron smiled at him at that, and the light in his eyes almost lit up as much as it did around his Dad. But it faded out quickly, and his father shook his head. "Yeah, yeah...he loves you."

"Da?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you?" Seb asked as doubt about his plan creeped in out of nowhere. 

"Do I what?"

"Love Dad?"

"Seb..." His voice sounded clogged up. "It's complicated."

Seb frowned. "That's grown-up, for I don't wanna lie to you."

"It is not."

"Then tell me the truth? You always say the truth is best."

"Seb..."

"What?"

Aaron sighed and moved his chair closer to Seb. "Sometimes, love is complicated and when you're older…"

"So, you do, love him," Seb exclaimed because that was all he needed to know to be sure again. 

"Yes....but."

"I knew it," Seb grinned, cutting his father's disclaimer off. Seb was pretty sure it was just grown-up lies and silliness anyway. His doubt was gone, and he nodded to himself. He'd seen them together, he knew his Da's smiles, and he knew only his Dad had the power to make him really happy. 

He was definitely doing the right thing. 

~~~

"No?" Robert scratched the back of his neck and tried not to feel out of sorts, but it was easy to feel thrown by Seb. He wanted them to get along, and he wanted to spend as much as time as he could with him. He knew he'd never get bored of him, he loved him so much — it hurt sometimes. And he'd lost so much time, and since deciding on spending Valentine's Day with him, he'd been looking forward to it a lot. 

But Seb seemed off, and now he was saying no to a movie, and Robert felt hurt, and he tried to shove it aside because it wasn't about him. It was about his son. He took a deep breath and told himself it was just a no to seeing a movie. Maybe Seb had something else he wanted to do. 

"I forgot something in Da's car," Seb said as he finished off his chocolate donut. "It's part of a maths project that's due Monday."

Robert frowned. "Was it assigned today, you haven't mentioned it before?"

"No, I just forgot about it. But I thought Aunt Liv is always saying your good at maths and all. Can you help me with it today? Maybe we can do a movie later, with Da? Please, Dad?"

"Yeah, of course... I mean, I'm not going to let you not finish your homework… Seb, you should have brought this up sooner."

Seb just shrugged at him, swallowed the donut, and grinned at him in a way that was a lot like looking into a mirror. It made Robert smile, but something about the shine in Seb's eyes made the hair on the back of his neck stand up. He chuckled a bit and told himself it was probably a warning that he was in for it with this kid -- that this amazing kid was his and he was going to have his hands full. All he wanted was to be a good father, he could at least do all he could to get that right and be there for Seb. 

Always. 

"Alright, so you left it in your dad's car?"

"Yeah, the backseat..." 

"Alright, I'll call him," he started to pull his phone out of his jacket pocket.

"He's probably outside, he's at the scrapyard, said there was a shipment...." Seb hopped up from the table, "Let's just drive up there."

Robert nodded and felt thankful he had Vic's car for the day, and soon enough, they'd climbed into it, and his son started texting. He frowned at that and elbowed him a bit. 

"Who are you texting?"

"Belle... I thought since we're heading that way, I'd walk over to see the pigs? Just making sure someone is home."

"Okay..." Robert nodded. "You like pigs?"

"Oh yeah, and the cows and lambs at Isaac's...it's fun to play with them. Isaac doesn't like too so much, says he gets stuck having to wake up early, and he gets smelly from things his mum makes him do. I like my chores better."

Robert smiled. "I hated farming chores, myself."

"You had chores like Isaac..."

"Yeah, I grew up on a farm like Butler's...' Robert smiled and started talking about his childhood, amazed at how easy it felt to talk about memories that use to cause only pain. But it was made easy by Seb's smiles and simple questions and put everything into a different perspective. 

"Belle says I can come over."

"Tell her, I'll be there too..." Robert laughed as he pulled into the scrapyard, a flood of memories hitting him, and he gripped the wheel a bit tight at an onslaught of memories. He and Aaron had been through a lot, and the scrapyard had always been there through all the ups and all the downs. Robert had lost count of the times they'd locked the doors to the Portacabin -- when they remembered too anyway. 

But now wasn't the time for those memories, and he pushed it down for another memory to rise up. It was a bright memory and one of his favorites. He'd thought about it a lot over the years. I'd gotten him through a lot of hard times, and now he could share it with his son… He was back in his son's life, and he could tell him about the amazing moment Aaron first held him.

"You know, the first time your dad held ya, was in that PortaCabin."

"Really?"

"Yeah... You were a little terror, I was stressed out, and you were picking it up. Your dad, he held ya for me, and you calmed right down and wrapped him around your finger, I think..." Robert smiled. "I remembered thinking it looked ao right, you two, together…" he sniffed hard to fend off tears, the visceral memory surprising him a bit as he spoke. "I'm just so happy you've had him in your life Seb. There is no one who can love ya better than Aaron."

"There's you, too, Dad. You both love me loads," Seb smiled.

"I'll try."

Seb beamed and in a blink he was out of the car. 

"Seb..." Robert laughed and hurried after him. He felt weird about stepping into the PortaCabin. He'd been working out of Vic's flat or Nicola's house rather than up here. It'd felt wrong to encroach on Aaron's spaces after so long… The first thing he noticed was that the desks had been shifted about a bit bit, but it was the same four walls. There was a slightly newer looking heater that it seemed to keep the room a bit of bearable temperature even in February in Yorkshire. a

"Hi ya..." Aaron said, looking at the two of them with confusion. "I thought we decided..." 

_Not to see each other today._ Robert finished for him in his head, and they hadn't spoken about it. It'd been a silent agreement, and Robert wasn't totally certain why… Valentine's Day wasn't important to them, but it felt like… It felt like it might bring up all the things they both want to say, or the things they feel they can't say. It just felt best to avoid it altogether. 

After all, there was no them. 

"Seb forgot about a maths project..." Robert said.

"He what?" Aaron looked at their son.

"Yeah..." Seb muttered. "Sorry... I left it in the car, can I have the keys?"

Aaron sighed and pulled his keys off the ring by the PortaCabin door. "Alright, go get it."

Seb took the keys and grinned. 

Robert felt his hair on his neck, go up again. 

"Seb?" Aaron was saying Seb's name in a parental tone and standing up. 

Seb slammed the door shut behind him.

"Oi, no need to slam the..." Aaron shouted but stopped short as they heard the clang of keys and loud click. "Seb!"

Robert stared at the locked door and jumped when his cell phone rang. He grabbed at it and nodded. "It's him," he muttered as he answered it.

"Put me on speaker…"

Robert followed the order, mostly because he was too puzzled to do anything else. "Seb, open the door..." the both of them yelled.

"Welcome to Operation Idiots. It's been FOREVER already, I can't wait any longer. I'm tired of watching you be all happy together and then sad when you're apart. I might be a kid, but it is obvious you belong together. I am tired of waiting. So, it is Valentine's Day, so it's the perfect time for you two to GET BACK TOGETHER. You'll be alone, no one will interrupt and you can't wuss out and leave cause I locked the door. I'll be over at Wishing Well with the pigs and Belle, so don't worry about me, I'm sorted."

The line went dead.

"SEB," Aaron shouted, and he pounded on the door. "SEB."

Robert walked to the window and peered out. Sure enough, his son was skipping, his way toward Wishing Well. He shoved his phone into his jacket and suddenly wondered what the hell to do with his arms, legs, hell his entire body. 

He was alone with Aaron for the foreseeable.

And the truth was they'd been meeting in public spaces for a reason.

Even if they never spoke it.

Aaron shouted Seb's name one more time before just stopping. He seemed to just freeze facing the door and let out a long breath. Then he turned around, and Robert forced himself to look at him. 

Aaron looked as frazzled as he felt. 

Somehow that allowed him to breathe. 

Aaron moved next to him, both of them sitting a bit on the desk with less clutter on it. Aaron scraped his hands over his face and shook his head. "He's..."

"Mine?" Robert offered with a laugh.

Aaron chuckled. 

"Does he really have a maths project?" Robert asked.

"Probably not." 

Robert laughed again.

Aaron sighed. 

"Operation Idiots?" they spoke together, then laughed together, and Robert felt his heart hammer in his chest as he remembered every time he'd fondly called Aaron an idiot… Especially that day, during the last proposal when they'd jinxed each other and Aaron been mad, Robert tried to step on his turn to propose…

It felt so long ago. It was so long ago. But he looked at Aaron and felt like no time had passed at all. But it was heavy now, the memory and realized they'd only managed a year of happiness. He'd ruined it, he'd ruined them every time and did he really deserve another chance. He wanted it, he wanted it enough to take it -- he knew he'd take it if Aaron offered. 

But he couldn't ask for it. 

And he doubted Aaron would offer it. 

Aaron cleared his throat and looked away from him. 

"I'll call Belle..." He said and dialed her number. 

Robert nodded. 

"Belle, it's Aaron..." He started. "Look, can you get the keys from Seb and come and let... What... What do ya.. What?"

"What is she saying?"

"It is not a good idea..." Aaron sighed. "What did he tell ya?"

"Aaron?"

"Belle, no... Belle, just... Hello? Hello?" Aaron groaned. 

"Is she coming?" Robert asked though he was pretty sure he knew the answer. 

"No. She thinks Seb has a point, and we should talk."

"She what?"

Aaron's cheeks went red, and he ducked his head. "She's decided to support Seb's plan."

"He's twelve."

"Liv was fourteen," Aaron said.

Robert laughed. "At least we had a beer then."

Aaron smiled, and their eyes locked. 

Then they both looked away. 

Robert sighed. 

"Belle really won't make us stay here too long... So uh... Get comfortable?" Aaron muttered and he sat down at his desk. "I guess I'll do paperwork."

"Really?" Robert said.

"What?" Aaron said as he sat down.

"Paperwork?" 

Aaron averted his eyes and pulled out a pen. 

Robert stared at him, and he shifted where he stood. He tried sitting down. He fiddled with the zipper on his jacket. He sighed a few times and glanced at Aaron — a few times he caught Aaron glancing at him, and he was pretty sure Aaron wasn't actually doing the paperwork in front of him. 

Robert cleared his throat loudly.

Aaron looked at him. 

"Would...would..." He shouldn't. He knew he shouldn't, …but he wanted too and somehow that won out. "Would talking about what Seb said be so bad?" 

Aaron pretended to be reading whatever paperwork he had under his nose for a bit longer before he finally just dropped the pen he was holding. But he stayed silent. 

"Forget it..." Robert muttered. 

"Maybe..." Aaron sighed. 

"What?" Robert asked they'd spoken at the same time. 

Aaron looked at him. "Maybe we should say it."

"Say what?"

"That's it's...off the table."

Robert clenched his jaw and looked away from Aaron. He ended up turning his back to him as he tried to tell himself he deserved how hard that hurt. It felt like something been slammed at his chest, and the mere thought of it made him feel wrong in his skin. Robert gritted his teeth and forced himself to turn around again and face Aaron. When he turned, he saw Aaron had stood up, and he looked a bit uncertain where he stood, but he wasn't speaking. But he wasn't taking it back, and his mouth opened a bit like he wanted to speak, but nothing was coming out of it.

"Alright, then... Say it," Robert said because it was what Aaron wanted. He could voice it out loud. He could make it true, that there was no going back to them — that was real, there was no hope.

Aaron opened his mouth and closed it. 

Robert waited. 

"I can't…" Aaron sighed.

"Love me?" Robert asked before he stopped himself. 

"What? No, Robert, say we're off the table. I can't…I can't say that."

"What? I thought you wanted that…"

"Can you? Do you?" Aaron asked him. 

Robert shook his head. 

"But..." Aaron winced and sat back down at his desk. 

Robert sighed. 

"Seb asked me if I still loved you..." Aaron said. 

"What did you say?"

"That it was complicated."

Robert nodded. 

"But it isn't..." Aaron stood up. 

"What?"

"Loving you isn't complicated, it just _is_ Robert."

"But?"

"It scares me, it always has and it always will..."

Robert nodded. 

"And maybe if..."

"If what?"

"If Seb wouldn't get caught up in the tidal wave..." Aaron said. 

Robert nodded. 

"I love you, but I don't know how I can risk you again, Robert."

"I know," he said because he did. "I don't... I've never deserved you, and I definitely don't deserve Seb." 

"No...that's not. No," Aaron snapped at him.

"What? It's true, Aaron."

"It is not," Aaron shouted. "Is that..is that what you made you able to do it?"

Robert looked down at his feet and shook his head. 

He heard Aaron moving, then he felt him, hovering right in front of him, and then their hands were clasped. He shouldn't have held Aaron's hand back, he shouldn't have let him thread their fingers together, but he allowed it. He let the electricity skate up his arm, the zap he always felt every bloody time Aaron touched him from the first second to the last second. 

"Look at me."

Robert looked up. 

"Was that it?" he asked again. 

Robert nodded. 

"You idiot..." Aaron shook his head. "I knew, I knew it was letting me go because you loved me, I knew you were too stubborn for me to get to -- when you were locked away but..."

"But what, you didn't think I knew I never deserved you?"

"Fuck that," Aaron snapped. "You do...you deserve whatever you want, Robert. You deserve our little boy, you do."

"I left him too," he sniffed. "I walked right away..."

"I was there right after that, I remember you crying out in your sleep, the tears..." Aaron sniffled, and his free hand wiped at his eyes. "You love him like you love me..." He paused. "You do still?"

"Always, Aaron," Robert breathed. "Don't know how to stop, and don't want to learn."

Aaron sighed. 

Robert squeezed Aaron's hand, felt that zap, and felt dizzy and hopeless. They had to let go. "But it's not enough, is it?"

"That's not it..." Aaron shook his head. "You're enough. Your the only one who is enough..." He laughed. "I tried, more than once, but... I almost married someone, not Tim, but the day came, and I found myself in the garage."

"Yeah?"

"Us, there, that day... Those vows," Aaron sighed. "I couldn't say them to someone else."

"No?"

"And Tim... He thought he'd change my mind, said he was gonna wear me down...but I was honest. I told him I'd never get married again. I thought I could be with him anyway, that it'd be enough... But that wasn't fair to him, was it? Especially after, after you and I breathed the same air again."

"Aaron?"

Aaron squeezed his hand, and his eyes closed. "I don't know what to do... I know what I want, I just don't know if it's right."

"What?" Robert shook his head. "You can't..."

"I can't what?"

"You can't want me back, Aaron. That's..."

"What?"

"Stupid... I'm not... I'll mess it up again, somehow."

"No," Aaron shook his head. "We messed it up, Robert."

"No, I did."

"I didn't fight for ya," Aaron sighed. "I should've. I almost did more than once, but..."

"I wouldn't have let you try."

"Yeah, and I let that stand. I regret it."

"Aaron... It was fourteen years, I served most of it... I'm old."

"You were always old," Aaron muttered. "And you don't look it, you look amazing...just some more lines around your eyes, but I always loved the ones already there. And I'm gray."

"Barely," Robert whispered, and his free hand hit Aaron's cheek. Beard stubble against his palm, the perfect scratch, and Aaron's gray hair was really fine and white, and you'd only notice it if the light hit them just right. "You're beautiful."

"Shut up."

"You are?" Robert smiled.

Aaron looked at him, and their gazes locked. Robert felt rocked by it harder than the first time it happened. Because he felt rocked by Aaron seeing him every single time it happened. He saw Aaron too, and Aaron's eyes fell to his mouth for a split second, but it was enough... 

Robert kissed him, and he felt like he was breathing for the first time in a decade. 

~~~

Aaron sighed as Robert's mouth landed against his own. It wasn't a kiss, not yet. For a suspended moment, Aaron just felt like he exhaled a breath he'd been holding -- for a long time -- possibly since he lost Robert. He sighed, and his eyes closed, and the hand that'd taken Robert's tightened its hold on him before his other landed on Robert's chest, right over his heart. He felt it beating, wildly against his palm and he sighed again, he felt Robert breath slip right into his mouth and then they were kissing. 

They swayed, their bodies crashing together, there was a push, and a pull and their hands let go, only for Robert's to land behind his neck, thumb in his cheek, like their first kiss and so many that followed. Aaron grabbed at his arms, biceps that felt bigger than he remembered, and he frowned about why -- there was only so much to do in prison. He made a sound, at remembering why Robert was gone...

Why he left...

It'd been easy to just focus on him being gone if he thought about the why it broke his heart, it made him miss him, it made him fight himself about allowing the time and space between them. 

They'd never fell out of love. 

Robert never did anything wrong. 

He heard voices in his head that were his mum's, Paddy's, Cain's... Talking about murder, but he shook his head. Because Robert had ended a monster, a real true life monster. He dug his hands into Robert's arms and allowed himself to fall deeper into the kiss. 

It was Robert, he inhaled and smelled him and felt it settle into him and over him, he pulled at him wanting him closer, wanting to feel the heat of his skin and see if remembered what his skin felt like... He was yanking and pulling, he felt himself losing his hi-vis vest, and he was on top of a desk, Jimmy's he thought idly, but then his eyes fell on freckled skin... 

He pulled more buttons apart and ran his hands up Robert's chest and counted his favorite spray of freckles that were between his nipples. He pressed forward and kissed him there. Robert made a noise, both whimper and moan, and he did it again. Missed him making sounds like that, missed every fucking thing about him. 

It overwhelmed him, and he was pulling back and looking up. He was on the desk, and Robert was standing between his legs, he felt large and looming over him. Aaron felt his insides curl, and he realized he was crying, just as Robert's thumbs caught his tears. He looked at Robert's face and saw his own chin, wobbling in that way it did, the way Aaron knew Robert hated. 

Robert let out a deep shuddering breath, and their foreheads smacked together, Robert curled down over him and Aaron looking up, his legs around his waist -- he thought he should move them but he couldn't. He took a few breathes and tried to find words. 

"Aaron?" Robert breathed his name, and it sounded to reverent. 

"It's just me," he said. 

"But it's not..." Robert whispered. "It's like you said. We have to consider Seb."

Aaron nodded. 

"I want you..." Robert's voice was deep. "But I can't if it's not going to be..."

"Forever?"

"Yeah?"

"I wish I could make grand promises, I could make them sound believable." 

Aaron laughed. 

"I love you, I'll always love you but..."

"You do, though," Aaron sighed and moved just enough to lean back, grab Robert's face and stare at him. "You deserve what you want, you deserve happy Robert."

"I destroy."

"Tell Jack to shut up," Aaron spat. 

Robert's mouth clicked closed.

Aaron sighed, and the guilt ate him. "I let myself pretend you really left me."

"I did."

"No. You let me go..." His voice broke. "You loved me, and you let me go... And I let you do it."

"I thought it was a lifetime, Aaron."

"But, your home..." Aaron sighed. "And I never, I never found anything close."

Robert sighed. 

"You've always said no one comes close..." Aaron sniffed. 

"They don't, no one could..."

"Same, Robert..." Aaron sighed. "Why do you think I broke up with Tim?"

"I didn't... I didn't want too..."

"What?"

"Hope?"

Aaron laughed. "It's scary, it is... You've terrified me from the first second I touched ya..."

Robert laughed. 

"I shoved you against that wall, remember... Told you right off for being a smug arse."

"I remember."

"But I had ya there, against that wall and I just wanted... I wanted ya, Robert, and it scared me. You scare me, I know you, I know what we have...and..." Aaron stared into Robert's eyes, the color of a tropical ocean, full of tears, and he blinked. Making tears fall from his own eyes, he remembered drowning in a car and knowing he couldn't live with it if Robert went with him...

But Robert would've in a heartbeat. 

It was scary.

It wasn't normal.

But nothing about his life ever was....

"I'm scared," he whispered. 

Robert nodded, and Aaron saw the same fear in his eyes. 

"But..."

"Aaron, don't say it if you don't mean it."

"I do, though, don't I, I always mean it... It's you. I'll always choose you." 

Robert smiled. "Aaron?"

"We belong together."

"But..."

"We risk it," Aaron lunged forward and kissed him, again and again, and spoke between the press of their lips. "We risk it, for us, for Seb... We won't be happy apart, it won't work, Robert, you know it... You know."

"I know," Robert whispered into his mouth. 

"I love ya," Aaron smiled.

"Always," Robert whispered. 

"I need ya..." They whispered in unison as they pulled and yanked at the rest of their clothes, remembering how to touch each other just right. Aaron realized he never really forgot the taste of Robert's skin -- it was a craving he'd never been able to sate. 

Their intimacy was their own and it blew anything else he'd ever felt out of the water -- because no one ever came close despite the lies he told himself. He panted into Robert's neck and let him hold him as he came apart. 

And Robert shook his arms, and he felt tears against his shoulder. He had his fingers in Robert's hair and into his scalp. "It's alright."

"I just... Thought I'd lost you forever."

"Never."

Robert breathed. "Might have to prove it a few times," but he laughed and their eyes locked. Robert winked, and it made a tear fall, Aaron pressed forward and kissed it off his cheek. 

"I'll prove it."

Robert kissed his forehead, and Aaron felt himself cry. It was relief though and a bit of fear but knew he'd made the right choice. Robert was always his right choice. They fit together too well, they were...

"You're my soulmate,' Robert breathed, lips pressing the skin of his forehead again. 

"I know," Aaron whispered, buried his face into Robert's chest. The only place he'd ever felt complete safety. 

"Now what?" Robert asked after a few minutes.

"We get dressed... It's bloody cold in here."

Robert laughed, and reluctantly they moved apart and slipped back into their clothes, stealing glances, and Aaron felt younger than he had in years. He felt a bit giddy and grinned, and then he laughed loudly. 

"What?"

"Valentine's Day is one of our anniversaries now."

Robert scoffed. "Why don't we just make it all of February."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah..." He smiled. 

Aaron knew he meant it too. "Come home? Tonight?"

Robert smiled. "Are you..."

"Of course, I'm sure..." Aaron smiled, and old memory flashed in his mind, of Robert on other February day, pulling two rings out of a wallet. 

"Aaron?" Robert protested as Aaron moved out of his reach.

He found the safe and hurried over to it and turned the combination. He looked through the papers and things inside for the specific large blue envelope he'd put them in and found it. He pulled it out and turned toward Robert. "I had to keep them safe."

"Aaron?"

He opened the envelope and pulled out a watch and two rings. 

Robert's mouth fell open. 

"I was going to give this to Seb, like you wanted, on his eighteenth -- now you can, and you could..."

"Aaron?" Robert licked his lips.

"I love you," Aaron said. "I want this…" he stepped forward and took the cheap watch off of Robert's wrist and snapped their watch back around his wrist where it belonged. Then he grabbed his left hand and held up one of the rings?

Robert nodded. 

"Marry me again?" Aaron laughed as he slipped it on his finger. 

"God, yes...I love you," Robert smiled, and he took the other ring from Aaron, took Aaron's hand and slipped it onto his finger. In that second, Aaron felt himself become whole again. 

"Soon," they both whispered. 

They kissed, and Aaron whimpered when Robert broke it. 

"We should go tell Seb," he said. 

"Give him a right big head."

"Say he deserves it... He's pretty brilliant. One his first schemes, and it's worked."

Aaron laughed. "He gets that from me."


End file.
